


The Key to His Heart

by Quineviere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Handcuffs, Ingestion of Keys, M/M, Nipple Piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 01:56:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quineviere/pseuds/Quineviere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a friend's birthday. Dirk likes to play games with Jake, who doesn't realise what those games mean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Key to His Heart

“Consarn it, Strider!” says Jake, trying to wiggle free from the chair, “I’ll have you know that I am a trained marksman!”  
Dirk rolls his eyes. “You mean like, guns?” He dangles one from his pointer finger, and drops it out the window. “Oops.”  
“No!” Jake yells. “Beverly!”  
Dirk sticks the key to Jake’s handcuffs in the back of his mouth, and sits on his lap. “Corme and gort it, Onglorsh.” Despite how funny he sounds, there is nothing in his expression that says he isn’t dead serious.   
“You’re a dick,” he mutters before crashing into Dirk’s mouth. He tries to make light work of it, his tongue scraping nook and cranny looking for that key. Dirk enjoys the kiss thoroughly, his hands tracing Jake’s rugged jawline and his pelvis moving closer to Jake’s body by the minute.   
They play these games often. Jake gets to live out his idealistic fantasies of being an action hero, and Dirk gets to play sick and twisted torture games. Jake knows that his buddy likes to use questionable methods, but he thinks something is up with all the chaining and roping and invasions of personal space.   
Dirk moves the key around in his mouth, hoping to prolong the kiss. His tongue battles a few scrums with Jake’s tongue, which he tries to strangle with his lips. Everything is going according to plan until Jake audibly moans and Dirk swallows the key in surprise.   
They both pull away.   
“You swallowed the key!”  
“You moaned.”  
Embarassed silence.   
Dirk leaves Jake’s lap and goes to find his spare key. He finds it hanging from a chain, and hatches a brilliant idea.  
By brilliant he means kinky.  
He walks back into the room with the key on the chain, and takes off his shirt. Two shiny rings dangle from his nipples. He hooks the two ends of the chain on these, the key dangling in front of his belly button.  
Jake stares, slack-jawed.   
“What in blazes are those?” He squints, trying to see if they’re a joke or something from across the room.   
“Piercings,” Dirk deadpans, “I kind of have a few.”  
“So that’s what was cold under your shirt all this time! I just thought you had cold sores or something. Are those even cold? Well, no matter. Come to think of it I heard Roxy once talk about cold sores and called them herpes. Can you get nipple herpes? Blast it, Strider, I’m so damn confused.”  
Dirk is standing a few feet away from Jake, massaging his temples and contemplating just. Gagging him.  
Dirk sits back down on Jake’s lap and waits for Jake to go at the hook on his nipple.  
The first thing Jake does is bite down on it, hard. Dirk inhales through his teeth, it feels like a shark bite (from a sexy shark). Jake pulls at the ring, and it feels like he’s going to rip the nipple off completely. Much of the blood in Dirk’s head is going down to his cock. Jake seems to be using his molars to undo the clasp; so his entire hot, wet mouth has engulfed his left pec.  
He gets it undone and shoots back, tipping the chair over. Dirk falls on top of him as he spits the key back out.   
“Uncuff me you trollop!” Jake yells, breathing heavily.  
Dirk looks at him expectantly. “And then?”  
“And then you god-confound-it fucking let me go!”  
“And then?”  
“And then...” Jake has no idea what to do then. “We get ice cream? I have some. It’s rocky road.”  
Dirk just leaves.


End file.
